How difficult is it to understand what social media is? When
Yahoo chat became boring, plop came in Orkut. When Orkut became boring, plop
came in Facebook. I am surprised that they are still alive. Thanks to us for
making a social media platform more than what it was supposed to be! People are
busy making virtual friends and businesses are busy making virtual customers.
Let’s see the avatars that we have given to Facebook.
The Fortune Teller
It used to be a 5-minute affair with newspapers. People who have been reading newspapers will understand that horoscopes were just spinning of words to bring a smile on everyone’s face. Today, Anita, Sunita, Rita, Gita tell us every day about our future. We get really excited by these aunties, start following them, and share them with our friends - expecting them to share it again! How nice, our future is definitely doomed!
It used to be a 5-minute affair with newspapers. People who have been reading newspapers will understand that horoscopes were just spinning of words to bring a smile on everyone’s face. Today, Anita, Sunita, Rita, Gita tell us every day about our future. We get really excited by these aunties, start following them, and share them with our friends - expecting them to share it again! How nice, our future is definitely doomed!
The Executive
Secretary
We never forget dates, do we? Birthdays, anniversaries, weddings and more. One notification does the trick, aha! But do we even think if people really feel special looking at zillions of birthday wishes on their page not knowing what do with them? The lamest thing that we do as a response is write a common post thanking the universe – serves them right! Apart from that FB wishes you good afternoon (when AccuWeather tells you that it’s 40 degrees outside), good morning , and takes you back to your virtual memory lane (how many times have you wondered why you wrote something so stupid 5 years back but still shared the post to get some likes?).
We never forget dates, do we? Birthdays, anniversaries, weddings and more. One notification does the trick, aha! But do we even think if people really feel special looking at zillions of birthday wishes on their page not knowing what do with them? The lamest thing that we do as a response is write a common post thanking the universe – serves them right! Apart from that FB wishes you good afternoon (when AccuWeather tells you that it’s 40 degrees outside), good morning , and takes you back to your virtual memory lane (how many times have you wondered why you wrote something so stupid 5 years back but still shared the post to get some likes?).
A Super Platform to
Celebrate Those Days
Mother’s day, father’s day, brother’s day, sister’s day, and every day! How lovely is it to look at your school friend’s cousin's mother’s photo – and that mother does not even know that there is something called Facebook. First of all celebrating these days make no sense and on top of that expressing intense emotions on FB makes it complete nonsense! Those moments when you browse through the timeline cursing why were you born to be a part of this virtual madness. BTW, should we all celebrate Bugger’s Day?
Mother’s day, father’s day, brother’s day, sister’s day, and every day! How lovely is it to look at your school friend’s cousin's mother’s photo – and that mother does not even know that there is something called Facebook. First of all celebrating these days make no sense and on top of that expressing intense emotions on FB makes it complete nonsense! Those moments when you browse through the timeline cursing why were you born to be a part of this virtual madness. BTW, should we all celebrate Bugger’s Day?
The Personality
Predictor
It’s amusing to see how we are so elated to see a prediction that exactly depicts our nature! Well, end of the day all of us are intelligent, kind, gentle, smart, bold, attractive, adventurous, sexy, and more. That’s awesome. We are in a world with no negative or different traits at all! How cool is that. And we vouch for it. How sad is that?
It’s amusing to see how we are so elated to see a prediction that exactly depicts our nature! Well, end of the day all of us are intelligent, kind, gentle, smart, bold, attractive, adventurous, sexy, and more. That’s awesome. We are in a world with no negative or different traits at all! How cool is that. And we vouch for it. How sad is that?
The Date Doctor
There are people who love surfing FB checking out profile pics. It doesn’t stop there. If by any chance the profile is accessible by public, they will leave a pick up line, or leave a message “hey sexy. Want to do fraanship?”, or leave a friend request. Maybe there are other things that they do as well. I wonder if anyone actually succeeded in whatever they were planning to do by taking these actions. What started with Facemash is ending up with brain smash now!
There are people who love surfing FB checking out profile pics. It doesn’t stop there. If by any chance the profile is accessible by public, they will leave a pick up line, or leave a message “hey sexy. Want to do fraanship?”, or leave a friend request. Maybe there are other things that they do as well. I wonder if anyone actually succeeded in whatever they were planning to do by taking these actions. What started with Facemash is ending up with brain smash now!
Virtual Ego Massager
The number of pseudo likes is directly proportional to boost in pseudo self-esteem. The number of positive comments is directly proportional to increase in popularity. Increase in the number of shares is almost close to becoming famous overnight! Wow! All of this is directly proportional to lack of commonsense. In reality commonsense is a rare trait, it’s virtually non-existent these days!
The number of pseudo likes is directly proportional to boost in pseudo self-esteem. The number of positive comments is directly proportional to increase in popularity. Increase in the number of shares is almost close to becoming famous overnight! Wow! All of this is directly proportional to lack of commonsense. In reality commonsense is a rare trait, it’s virtually non-existent these days!
Virtual Friend to
Play Games
The craze started with farming, and then Crushing Candies and has moved now to solving criminal cases. Behind the scenes are zillions of other games to entertain us. But we don’t stop there. Since commonsense is non-existent virtually, we don’t bother to block sending game requests to others. In one click hundreds of request start hitting other pals on Facebook. Yay! Now our friends can see our strawberry farm! What fun!
The craze started with farming, and then Crushing Candies and has moved now to solving criminal cases. Behind the scenes are zillions of other games to entertain us. But we don’t stop there. Since commonsense is non-existent virtually, we don’t bother to block sending game requests to others. In one click hundreds of request start hitting other pals on Facebook. Yay! Now our friends can see our strawberry farm! What fun!
The Godman
“Share this message in 2 secs and see your fortune change in 2 days!” Well it does change our fortune. After 2 days we will share another post that says “You are fortunate and to be fortunate forever, share this post with 100 others.” It not only changes our fortunes but changes others’ fortunes into misfortunes. But we have to give some credit here—looks like miracles happen only on Facebook these days!
“Share this message in 2 secs and see your fortune change in 2 days!” Well it does change our fortune. After 2 days we will share another post that says “You are fortunate and to be fortunate forever, share this post with 100 others.” It not only changes our fortunes but changes others’ fortunes into misfortunes. But we have to give some credit here—looks like miracles happen only on Facebook these days!
Biography,
Autobiography, and History Book Open To All
We can see our friends getting into a relationship, then breaking up, then getting engaged, then getting hooked, becoming parents, their kids growing etc. Finally, the loop gets closed when their children send us a friend’s request. To top it, we have our memories made in the virtual world! How thoughtful. One person shared a 4-year-old post (i.e. four years before his child’s birth) and got a fabulous response: “Congratulations!”. For all you know that person was planning for his next kid. It may look like things are making sense; trust me they aren’t.
We can see our friends getting into a relationship, then breaking up, then getting engaged, then getting hooked, becoming parents, their kids growing etc. Finally, the loop gets closed when their children send us a friend’s request. To top it, we have our memories made in the virtual world! How thoughtful. One person shared a 4-year-old post (i.e. four years before his child’s birth) and got a fabulous response: “Congratulations!”. For all you know that person was planning for his next kid. It may look like things are making sense; trust me they aren’t.
Kill Bill – Revenge
Is A Dish Best Served Cold!
It’s so impressive to have a platform to stalk, spam, and hack profiles of our enemies—most of the time, exes. A friend of mine would check her ex’s profile every day. Send threat messages to her ex and his current girlfriend. Create multiple profiles so that the person is attacked from different directions. But the actual Kiddo (read winner) here is the ex – he fucking doesn’t care!
It’s so impressive to have a platform to stalk, spam, and hack profiles of our enemies—most of the time, exes. A friend of mine would check her ex’s profile every day. Send threat messages to her ex and his current girlfriend. Create multiple profiles so that the person is attacked from different directions. But the actual Kiddo (read winner) here is the ex – he fucking doesn’t care!
Pseudo Life
This sums up all our madness. From frantically searching for our so-called-smartphones to checking FB in the morning, to checking FB in the loo, to sending pseudo birthday wishes, and to showering pseudo love! A life that has no human touch but has only nasty pokes. A life that has no meaning but gives a complete sense of (false) accomplishment. A life that defines solitude with 1000+ friends. A life that is actually non-existent… oh my, FB has definitely made me philosophical!
This sums up all our madness. From frantically searching for our so-called-smartphones to checking FB in the morning, to checking FB in the loo, to sending pseudo birthday wishes, and to showering pseudo love! A life that has no human touch but has only nasty pokes. A life that has no meaning but gives a complete sense of (false) accomplishment. A life that defines solitude with 1000+ friends. A life that is actually non-existent… oh my, FB has definitely made me philosophical!
Okay. It has been a while now. Time to go online and share
this blog on FB and to celebrate many more facepalm moments! On a serious note,
let us step out and meet people for real. Next time you click “Going” on an
event request, please GO!
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