Those Facebook Facepalm Moments!

How difficult is it to understand what social media is? When Yahoo chat became boring, plop came in Orkut. When Orkut became boring, plop came in Facebook. I am surprised that they are still alive. Thanks to us for making a social media platform more than what it was supposed to be! People are busy making virtual friends and businesses are busy making virtual customers. Let’s see the avatars that we have given to Facebook.

The Fortune Teller
It used to be a 5-minute affair with newspapers. People who have been reading newspapers will understand that horoscopes were just spinning of words to bring a smile on everyone’s face. Today, Anita, Sunita, Rita, Gita tell us every day about our future. We get really excited by these aunties, start following them, and share them with our friends - expecting them to share it again! How nice, our future is definitely doomed!

The Executive Secretary
We never forget dates, do we? Birthdays, anniversaries, weddings and more. One notification does the trick, aha! But do we even think if people really feel special looking at zillions of birthday wishes on their page not knowing what do with them? The lamest thing that we do as a response is write a common post thanking the universe – serves them right! Apart from that FB wishes you good afternoon (when AccuWeather tells you that it’s 40 degrees outside), good morning , and takes you back to your virtual memory lane (how many times have you wondered why you wrote something so stupid 5 years back but still shared the post to get some likes?).

A Super Platform to Celebrate Those Days
Mother’s day, father’s day, brother’s day, sister’s day, and every day! How lovely is it to look at your school friend’s cousin's mother’s photo – and that mother does not even know that there is something called Facebook.  First of all celebrating these days make no sense and on top of that expressing intense emotions on FB makes it complete nonsense! Those moments when you browse through the timeline cursing why were you born to be a part of this virtual madness. BTW, should we all celebrate Bugger’s Day?

The Personality Predictor
It’s amusing to see how we are so elated to see a prediction that exactly depicts our nature! Well, end of the day all of us are intelligent, kind, gentle, smart, bold, attractive, adventurous, sexy, and more. That’s awesome. We are in a world with no negative or different traits at all! How cool is that.  And we vouch for it. How sad is that?

The Date Doctor
There are people who love surfing FB checking out profile pics. It doesn’t stop there. If by any chance the profile is accessible by public, they will leave a pick up line, or leave a message “hey sexy. Want to do fraanship?”, or leave a friend request. Maybe there are other things that they do as well. I wonder if anyone actually succeeded in whatever they were planning to do by taking these actions. What started with Facemash is ending up with brain smash now!

Virtual Ego Massager
The number of pseudo likes is directly proportional to boost in pseudo self-esteem. The number of positive comments is directly proportional to increase in popularity. Increase in the number of shares is almost close to becoming famous overnight! Wow! All of this is directly proportional to lack of commonsense. In reality commonsense is a rare trait, it’s virtually non-existent these days!

Virtual Friend to Play Games
The craze started with farming, and then Crushing Candies and has moved now to solving criminal cases. Behind the scenes are zillions of other games to entertain us. But we don’t stop there. Since commonsense is non-existent virtually, we don’t bother to block sending game requests to others. In one click hundreds of request start hitting other pals on Facebook. Yay! Now our friends can see our strawberry farm! What fun!

The Godman
“Share this message in 2 secs and see your fortune change in 2 days!” Well it does change our fortune. After 2 days we will share another post that says “You are fortunate and to be fortunate forever, share this post with 100 others.” It not only changes our fortunes but changes others’ fortunes into misfortunes. But we have to give some credit here—looks like miracles happen only on Facebook these days!

Biography, Autobiography, and History Book Open To All
We can see our friends getting into a relationship, then breaking up, then getting engaged, then getting hooked, becoming parents, their kids growing etc. Finally, the loop gets closed when their children send us a friend’s request. To top it, we have our memories made in the virtual world! How thoughtful. One person shared a 4-year-old post  (i.e. four years before his child’s birth) and got a fabulous response: “Congratulations!”. For all you know that person was planning for his next kid. It may look like things are making sense; trust me they aren’t.

Kill Bill – Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Cold!
It’s so impressive to have a platform to stalk, spam, and hack profiles of our enemies—most of the time, exes. A friend of mine would check her ex’s profile every day. Send threat messages to her ex and his current girlfriend. Create multiple profiles so that the person is attacked from different directions. But the actual Kiddo (read winner) here is the ex – he fucking doesn’t care!

Pseudo Life
This sums up all our madness. From frantically searching for our so-called-smartphones to checking FB in the morning, to checking FB in the loo, to sending pseudo birthday wishes, and to showering pseudo love! A life that has no human touch but has only nasty pokes. A life that has no meaning but gives a complete sense of (false) accomplishment. A life that defines solitude with 1000+ friends. A life that is actually non-existent… oh my, FB has definitely made me philosophical!

Okay. It has been a while now. Time to go online and share this blog on FB and to celebrate many more facepalm moments! On a serious note, let us step out and meet people for real. Next time you click “Going” on an event request, please GO!

Just Open the Bottle of Water and Drink!

We encounter different characters, at times the same person with different personalities, at work and life. Just when you think life is not rocket science, we are proven wrong by different people in different ways. A funny take on this – what happens when you ask people to open a bottle of water and drink?

 

 

What? Bottle of Water? Oh Crap!
These are the ones who hate change. Anything new puts them in a state of paranoia. Whether it’s a sudden switch from eating a veg sandwich to a cheese one, or from working on data analysis to a profit and loss analysis. While many around will be thinking, “it’s just a bottle filled with water” they will think: “Come on, it’s a BOTTLE! And it has water in it…and I HAVE TO DRINK IT! I am going to faint!”

What? Bottle of WATER? I Need Scotch!
Who likes what’s offered? They definitely don’t. These are the ones who can never accept things as they are. Does that come from a sense of pride or a sense of achievement? Something we will never figure out. While many around will still be thinking, “it’s just a bottle of water” they will think: “Come on! I need more, give me something better!”

YES! Bottle of WATER. Time to Prove That I’m a Genius!
These ones are amazing. Everything revolves around overdoing things. Chaddi utarana ho to bhi ek dam style se – but who is looking? This definitely comes from the herd mentality where people feel that a lot of noise is going to fetch them rewards. Sadly, it does! “I will first clean the bottle, take 4 photos, take a selfie while I am drinking the water. I am so proud of myself!”

Meh..Isn’t the Genius Free?
Well, they get bored. Anything lame puts them off. They don’t care about the rewards or awards or failure or success – they look for things that are exciting. What they think is: “I will drink water when I am thirsty. Please pass the buck to someone else…” Given a chance they will not bother to get out of bed. People call it laziness but they call it Meh!

Bottle! I Opened and Poured It on My Head. What’s Wrong?
No instruction is a simple one. It takes years of practice and diligence to get every instruction wrong – no matter how simple they are. Some overdo and some overthink, these ones are a deadly combination of both. The cherry on top is that they think they are right. “Well, I drank water while it was trickling down from my head!”

Bottle! Bottle! Come, Come, Come.. We Are a Team!
How do you complicate a simple task that one person can do into a task that will drain everyone around you and change the entire scope of work? So, they call a “jhund”, hold the bottle together, crush it, hold the lid tight and twist in a different way, break the bottle, waste the water and finally they see that the entire “jhund” is sweating!

Okay
They believe in following simple instructions. They just open the bottle of water and drink it. The main agenda in their lives is to move on. Been there done that, what next? Their only problem is they observe the people above them and get depressed as they don’t understand them.

I am sure there are many other characters that we encounter on a daily basis. Pause a moment and I am sure you can add more to this list! The best part is – you are in for a hearty laugh regardless of how each character might have ruined your day! 
  

For All Those Mind Numbing Questions, I Have Just One Counter Question

People love asking questions. Well, we grew up asking questions. If one has to learn you definitely have to ask questions. Just as our entire education system is flawed with meaningless exams, most of our questions are also meaningless. I have been asked irrelevant, indecent, stupid and irritating questions as long as I can remember. Let’s have some fun with those questions that made me question my own sensibility and sensitivity.

In School: How come you are dark? Your parents are not all that dark, no?

Mind voice: Dark? Oh no, I am bright. My parents are bright too.
People are very worried about complexion. Protecting our skin is something that I can understand; no one wants burnt skin and the associated pain. What I can’t understand is how complexion can play any role in any fair or unfair tasks that we do? BTW, I am dark (though society would insist that I use the word “wheatish”) and I don’t know why. Didn’t bother to understand the biology behind it!

After School: So, Engineering or Medicine?

Mind voice: Arts, no wait…maybe Bartending
In the era when taking care of pandas is a paid profession why are we hassled with this question? Also, the assumptions – oh didn’t you score well, shall I fund you, are you lazy… There is something called passion and everyone has the right to explore and do something they love doing. At least we won’t get thrown out during a recession!

In College: So, how many boyfriends have you had?

Mind voice: Literally, many! Do I get a medal?
I can understand if people say that they think about sex all the time. What I can’t understand is how wanting to know “personal shit” about other people gives any kind of pleasure! And trust me, no one believes it if you say you had and have no boyfriend(s). Societal norms will stop you from having an affair and hypocrites will want you to have more than one.

At Work: Looks like marriage is around the corner..wink..wink?

Mind voice: No, I have to walk 10,000 km to go and take a right to be left alone
Why is getting married a mandatory norm? Just when you start feeling happy about standing on your own feet, they make you feel like a loner because you are single! Marriage is like jumping into a well, a few do it with eyes open and a few with eyes closed. A few smart ones find different swimming pools and keep swimming.

In The Well: Any good news?

Mind voice: YES! YES! I am going on a date with my husband
Everyone knows what “Good News” means. Just because a person is married, it doesn’t mean that they have to reproduce. At times even your best friend will start worrying. Not having a kid is associated with many things – depression, aggression, family problems, health problems, mental problems and more. But the truth is, not having a kid is a CHOICE. Just as people choose to fall into the well, they decide not to have a baby. I vividly remember an acquaintance asking me this question: “Why get married if you don’t want kids?” Such a profound question that I have started losing faith in humanity!

The list will go on. I am sure all of us have been a part of such a mind numbing exercise at least once. Earlier I would respond sharing my views – but it was almost always futile. No longer. Now, every time I am attacked with a dumb numb question, I ask “And you are not dead yet?” When I hear the response, “What kind of question is this”, I smile broadly and say, “Exactly!”

If Men Are Bastards Then Women Are Bitches

Since my teenage I have seen friends come to me with one common problem – relationship issues. Both men and women somehow have the knack of finding different types of problems – some of them may baffle you – when it comes to relationships. As a responsible friend I would listen to them. After listening to them I would start talking and how many times have I heard these statements – “You are not in love, you won’t understand”, “You don’t have a history, you won’t understand”, and “You are not married, you won’t understand”. Now that I have a history, I am in love and happily married, they would say “You don’t have a kid, you won’t understand”.  I am not going to have a baby but I am going to talk about the general scenarios where women go wrong.

 

We need space, including theirs

This lady friend of mine was furious and said, “I just asked him if the new dress that I bought looks nice and he frowned. You know why? Because he was watching his stupid TV series!”. Ahem, aren’t we being a bit selfish and a lot ridiculous? Just like how we don’t like being disturbed while reading a book, watching an all-time fav movie, dressing up for that ladies night etc. men don’t like getting disturbed when they are enjoying their time – that time can even be in the loo while they are fidgeting with their phones (no pun intended). We will get attention, but not all the time!

We don’t talk, we scream

Couples will have arguments. End of the day we are human beings and every human being will have their own opinions. The minute we know we are losing the argument we start screaming. Slowly the screaming turns into tears and we make men look like the bad-est ass in this galaxy. It’s okay to lose an argument. We can’t win all the time and we can’t be right all the time!

We don’t like giving answer, but love questioning

This one is classic. So many times I have heard this statement blow up hundreds of cylinders in a relationship “How dare he asks me why I was late, I asked him why was he late last Friday and he doesn’t answer. Instead says the answer is same as what he gave on the Friday before that!”. Relationships can survive only on trust. Even in the strongest and closest of relationships there are things a person would not want to share with a partner. Not because they are cheating just because it’s not really important. If you are not ready to give answers, stop asking them questions!

We do all the work, don’t we?

He doesn’t cook, he doesn’t clean, he doesn’t care! We don’t clean the car, we don’t fix our gadgets, we don’t step out in hot sun, we don’t put up with our mood swings! Responsibilities must be balanced. I am not saying all relationships are perfect but many fail because we give too much importance to just ourselves. We are so busy doing our work that we stop noticing what our partner does for us.

How can he not be thinking anything?

Trust me, men are blessed when it comes to this. They can just go blank and stay in that zombie state for a very long time. Just that most of the times we disturb them. “What are you thinking honey?”, “How can you not be thinking about anything?”, “Is something bothering you?”, “Are you HIDING something from me?”, “WHATVER, if you don’t want to share let it be”, “Please let me na?”. A humble request, please give men a break – PLEASE!

We are independent but they must be available at our beck and call

We whine about losing our freedom. We suffocate because he wants to be around all the time. At the same time, you would get upset when he is late to pick you up – nope, he didn’t volunteer, we called him. Unknowingly we become needy more than we want to be free. Men do not understand signals and “subtle hints”. If they see that we need them they will tune their brains to be around us to help us out. If we want to be free we have to show that we are independent. Let’s stop messing with their brains.

Finally, they have friends too!

We love hanging out with our friends and drag our partners without even checking if they want to be a part of it. Men have friends too but many a times don’t like hanging out with them with their partners around. It’s simple, being in relationship doesn’t mean that we do EVERYTHING together. They love talking shit with their friends and prefer keeping us away from shit. Be happy about it!

There are creepy men. There are creepy women too. I still believe that the world is primarily filled with good people and all that we need is more of love to survive peacefully. Love is beautiful. Set each other free. Soon we will experience that moment - two different minds and souls working together so well, living together so well, and making the journey of life so bloody meaningful. Let’s not mix up feminism and selfishness. Equality is important and when equality is attained respect just falls in place.

And yeah, men will turn into bastards in between! Next topic will revolve around that ;-)

Stare

The darkness stared at him

To find the light

He stared at the darkness 

To find himself!

- Words of Venus|Image by Venus

Black

So dark, so evil

Stay away, you devil

So stark, so real

With head held high, he lived! 

- Words of Venus, Image - Words of Venus

Soul

Watching the chaos at peace,

Listening to Noises in silence...

I sat beneath my soul,

Witnessing life from yonder!

Chaos killed my reality,

Noises deafened my voice...

Life died but soul prevailed,

I witnessed dream from yonder!

When in Love, You know it! Really?

“I am in Love” said Reena. Her eyes gleamed in such a way that it could melt anyone’s heart. Not because it was dramatic, but because she was cute. Oh wait, she was just too cute because she was just 14 years old. “You should meet him once aunty, you will definitely approve to my choice. He is so graceful and handsome. Oh look! There he comes” jumped Reena while her aunt was admiring the newly blossomed second love of Reena and Rakesh. They merrily joined hands and strolling. The scene was a sight to remember. “I am 35 and I never had a partner till now. Is something really wrong with me?” thought Ritu worriedly as she witnessed the spectacular love in the air moment. There were too many questions for which Ritu needed answers. Her heart felt really heavy and she decided to stop Reena. “Reena!” called out Ritu “Can I talk to you for a few minutes?”. Without batting an eye Reena walked towards Ritu, “Yes aunty?”. The word aunty echoed in Ritu’s head as she blurted out, “How did you find Rakesh? How does it feel to be in love?”. Shy Reena started explaining with a wide proud smile on her face “It all started when Rakesh posted a funny Bitstrip about Karthik. It made me laugh when I was depressed. You know, Karthik ditched me because I decided to change my relationship status to “in a relationship” when I was in love with him. I told him I won’t add his name in it. Still he got so furious. He didn’t want the world to know about it but I did. Well, Rakesh understood me more and made me laugh. He was Karthik’s senior in school. He kept poking me ha ha ha ha and ...” and continued Reena while Ritu was lost. She couldn’t understand a bit of the whole story let alone the Bitstrip part of it. She started worrying more. She wondered if she had stopped evolving. She was so close to having a panic attack when Reena completed her story “when in love you just know it”. After that conversation Ritu decided to delete her Facebook account which she rarely used. “When I was 14 I was happy with my friends and books that I had to hang out with. May be I missed the point but it is better not to know it” thought Ritu when an unknown man asked her “I think I have seen you somewhere” and she replied “Sorry, I am not available online anymore!”

Lap and Nap!

“But, Ma! I need graphics. Can I get an app instead?” sighed Arya.  Arti was disappointed but she decided to do it today. “Ok. Let’s make a deal. You sit and listen to me for 15 minutes and you get to download all the apps that you want. How’s that?” said Arti. “Awesome!” delighted Arya sat still. Arti read the title of the storybook “Lap and Nap” and read articulately “In a digital jungle, lived a boy name Surya. He had cool virtual pals but no real friends. So, one day..”. Arya didn’t realise that it was past 30 minutes. From that day, Arya just needed a “Lap and Nap” at nights and no apps! Arti was so happy that she Whatsapp-ed her happiness with a Facebook friend of hers!

Woof!

“Girl, get ready. Remember, you have to steal a few hearts at the kitty party. Run now!” said Sundari. Obeying her instructions she swiftly ran to the nearest pond, jumped in and swam. Sundari saw her dripping wet and said “Fantastic! Let’s go to our neighbourhood and rock the show”. They promptly entered their neighbour’s home. Group of women, flashy and bored, looked at them with astonishment. That’s when they witnessed the most spectacular shake by Sundari’s girl - meticulous effort to sprinkle water all over them which lit that place with laughter and scream. In chorus they said “How Cute!”. Bailey said “Woof!” and thought “I was just drying myself. I am so glad that a petty thing like this can make people happy. Sundari is happy. I am happy!” Laughter continued and so did the woof woof!

I will live

     He couldn’t count his last breaths. He was tired. Physically but not mentally. His loved ones formed a protective shield. Love, sympathy, prayers and food overflowed. He didn’t have the stamina to tell them that he was “okay”. So, along with his age he gracefully accepted everything that came his way. “Is there anything that you would want us to do grandpa?” questioned Hari. “Ah, I wish I had few of you with me before. I want one good story to be told for the rest of my life and beyond. Take that pen and note down the title please”. “Sure” said Hari. “Words don’t die”. Hari wrote it down and looked at his smiling grandpa who said “and I will live”. He lived, died and lived gracefully.

Book O' Wine

The smell of books
As divine as wine’s
a step closer to addiction
with every droplet of word
Unlocking the shelves
flings dust of gold
I tell you my friend
It’s always better when its old!

- Inspired by Omar Khayyam

Intelligent Donkey!

“Stay away from me” brayed Montu. “No wonder you are stupid. You don’t associate with intelligent people. How will you grow if you don’t learn? You adamant donkey!” said Mr. Chathurnath. Braying continues and suddenly Mr. Chathurnath realized that Montu was actually laughing. The most shocking part was that Montu was laughing at Mr. Chathurnath. “What’s so funny Mr. Lazy ass” mocked Mr. Chathurnath. “I am adamant. I am lazy. I may be dumb. I don’t want to grow as I have grown to the best or worst already. But it’s a shame” brayed Montu. “Finally you are ashamed” smiled Mr. Chathurnath. “No. It’s a shame that all these years you thought I was a donkey but never realized that I am actually a Mule. You fool!” and the braying continued, happily ever after.

Birthdays Never Die!

She stopped celebrating her birthday. To her it was just another day. It was her birthday and she wanted to spend it alone. Well, if controlling thoughts was as easy as it is shown in the yoga videos she would have definitely spent her day alone floating in air. She couldn't do that and slowly drifted into her past. Right from her childhood she had seen various ways of celebrating birthdays and getting hurt. House parties, surprise parties, midnight parties, parties at an expensive restaurant, parties in the middle of the road, parties with alcohol and music, parties with plethora of gifts and more. Strangely her memory played the nasty trick of remembering things that she should have forgotten and vice-versa. She started thinking about her 5^th birthday. Excitement and expectations were built by her family and friends. So many friends were there accompanied by their parents. Her mother had bought her a cute yellow frock. Her father had bought her a cake that resembled a baby girl’s face. “Make a wish, Make a wish” shouted her friends when she overheard someone say “Why is the face in the cake white? It should be black to look like her”. Part of the crowd laughed out and it was embarrassment that hurt her more than discrimination. She very well remembered her 10^th birthday. The usual excitement and expectations were built by her family and new set of friends. Her mother bought her a new dress. Father bought her a small vanilla cake. No face this time. “Make a wish, Make a wish” shouted her friends when she overheard someone in the group say “The dress doesn't fit her that well, may be her mother should have bought her a better dress”. That day she didn't make a wish but picked a fight with her mother. Her memory took her to her 20^th birthday. Life had changed. Expectations had changed. She had spent many birthdays without her parents by now. This time she wanted to spend it with her first love. She had ignored all her friends and had waited eagerly for one phone-call from that special someone. It was 12:00 am. She waited. It was 12:05 am. She waited. It was 12:30 am. She waited. 1:00 am. She cried for the next whole week and waited for many more months. That special someone neither called nor returned but life moved on. Excitement, expectations, infatuations, disappointments and hurt made her very afraid. Not afraid of anything else but celebrating birthdays. She did manage to spend her birthday without celebrating this time. Though there were cakes, laughter and wine it had no meaning as she considered it to be just another get together with friends. She missed calls as she decided to sleep throughout her birthday. Next day morning her husband’s phone call woke her up with a wide smile. “Good morning sweetheart” whispered her husband. “Good morning” she smiled. “Finally you managed to spend your birthday without celebrating” said her husband. She didn't have the courage to share the reason and was uncertain if her emotions will be understood in the right way. She wasn't happy about not celebrating her first birthday with her husband. So many thoughts had haunted her that pushed her to celebrate her birthday alone “How can I fake a smile? How can I celebrate my birthday without thinking about my past? How can I see my husband get hurt? What if I lose him? Every birthday had brought some disappointment, what’s the surety that it won’t happen again this time?” She was devastated. “I understand that you don’t consider your birthday to be a special occasion but to me it is. After all it was my wife’s birthday yesterday! I wanted to make you feel special. I just want you to be happy” said her husband. In a second her past vanished. She made a promise to herself that she would celebrate her birthdays with her husband. All these years there were only expectations but from that second she had a reason. A reason to celebrate birthdays and a very strong reason to celebrate life. The phone conversation ended and she said to herself “Belated birthday wishes Maya!”

Circle

She had to reach the destination on time. The excitement of meeting similar people thrilled her. She didn't want to reach first but wanted to just reach the destination with grace. With a focused mind she started strolling. She couldn't see anyone in front of her but there was someone following her silently. She didn't dare to look at the stranger as she could sense the presence of a known angel and a very well known devil. She ran. She was expecting to see her destination instead she saw the stranger in front of her. She saw herself - worn and torn. She stopped running. She didn't want to meet similar people after she found herself. And then the magic happened – she lived and died. Peacefully.

Memories

She couldn’t feel the wind. She couldn’t feel the sun. It was burning hot that day and she was sweating profusely. Sweat rolled down her cheeks. The saltiness of her sweat did not bother her a bit, she didn’t flinch. She was frozen on that hot humid day. The stillness didn’t give any chills to anyone as there were neither any passersby nor anyone beside. Ignoring the surroundings she could feel her thoughts. She could feel the pain. She could feel herself. Tear rolled down her cheeks and bothered her a bit, she flinched. Memories took her to trance but truth brought her back to life.

Bindu and Mr. Humble Bumble

Image: Bharath Kumar (bharathkumar27@gmail.com)

She gently touched his wings. Poof! Vanished the butterfly. Bindu stood shocked. She tried her best to run behind the butterfly but it only made her tired. “Are you lost dear kiddo”, asked Ms. Stranger. Bindu stood silent. “My mother has asked me not to talk to strangers. And yes, my teacher said the same too” said Bindu and kept quite. “Your mother is right. I stay in this apartment. My name is Indu and” before Ms. Stranger could finish Bindu cried out “Yey! That rhymes with my name Bindu”. Bindu realised that she should have not told her name and tears slowly rolled down her cheeks. “Oh! No, no. Don’t cry child. I won’t hurt you. You looked lost and I only wanted to help. I will go now. See you later sweet child” said Ms. Stranger and “Poof!” she vanished too.

Bindu kept staring at the flower where she found the butterfly. She wondered how the butterfly fluttered so fast. “Hello little lady” said an unknown voice. Bindu turned around and was about to say that she does not talk to strangers instead she went two steps behind shell-shocked. “Hello little lady, won’t you say hi to me?” smiled the unknown creature. “Who are you? You are so big and fluffy. Well my mother said not to talk to strangers. Only humans can be strangers right? Who are you?” questioned Bindu. “If you have seen a butterfly then you must have seen me too! No?” asked the unknown creature. Bindu thought for a while and one by one the creatures she knew popped out of her mind.

A for Ant
B for Bat
It’s neither a cow
nor a dove!

It’s in my mind
and I do see
How silly of me
It’s a bumble bee!

“Yey! You are a bee. You are so fat”, chuckled Bindu. “I am not fat, I am just big” snapped Mr. Bumble. He looked dejected and Bindu felt sorry. “I didn’t mean to hurt you Mr. Bumble. I am sorry. I am sad myself. I don’t want you to be sad too” apologized Bindu. “That is alright little lady. Why are you sad?” asked Mr. Bumble. “I lost the butterfly. I only wanted to touch him. Poof! He vanished” sulked Bindu. “Ha Ha” laughed Mr. Bumble. “Is that all? Let me help you find the butterfly. Will you fly with me?” asked Mr. Bumble. “Really? Really? You will help me find the butterfly again? You are so humble. Thank you” said Bindu and hopped on Mr. Bumble.  Bindu and Humble Bumble set out on a magical trip.

On their way Mr. Bumble told her so many stories to remember. He also told her the secret of how he can fly so high. Bindu promised that she will never let the secret out. They laughed and sang songs. They were happy. Time flew and that made Bindu nervous again. “We still haven’t found the butterfly. It is getting late. If it gets dark then I will have to go home” said Bindu. “We touched the sky, we touched many flowers, we touched the world and our fingers have the power” said Mr. Bumble. Bindu started losing her temper and shouted “That makes no sense to me. I shouldn’t have trusted you. You are trying to fool me”. She took her palm and was about to cover her face with shame when she saw something wonderful.

Colours!

Every tiny finger of Bindu had a different colour – Blue, Black, White, Grey, Green, Orange, Pink, Red, Violet and Yellow. “Wow! I am so colourful” said Bindu and jumped with joy. She jumped a little too much and fell off Mr. Bumble and screamed.

Bindu saw her mother beside her and breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank god Ma. You caught me at the right time. I would have got hurt so bad. I just fell off Mr. Humble Bumble” said Bindu anxiously. “Look at my fingers, how colourful they are” said Bindu and proudly showed her hands to her mother. Her mother was keenly listening to her and suddenly said “Oh how beautiful. The butterfly looks really beautiful Bindu. You have painted it so well. So many different colours Blue, Black, White, Grey, Green, Orange, Pink, Red, Violet and Yellow” said her mother with tremendous happiness. Bindu gleamed with joy and pride. She finally found her butterfly and said “Thank you Mr. Humble Bumble. I will never ever let your secret out”. “What secret? Won’t you tell me” pleaded her mother. “Well, he is not fat, he is just big. That’s all can I say Ma.” said Bindu and continued painting. This time it was a rainbow!

Little Miss. Mishti and Mr. Big Brown Tree

Image: Bharath Kumar (bharathkumar27@gmail.com)

Mishti sat beneath a huge tree. “I remember Ms. Mary makes us spell the names of so many fruits. But how do I spell this tree’s name? I can’t find any fruit? I thought all trees had fruits” pondered Mishti. Her tiny mind was trying to connect something that she learnt in class with the tree that she saw, but she just couldn’t. The tree had a huge brown trunk and glossy leaves. Mishti was admiring the beauty of the tree when all of a sudden she felt something was wrong. “Oh Mr. Big Brown Tree, why are your branches hanging in the air?” questioned Mishti. Mr. Big Brown Tree did not understand the question and said “Eh?! Why do you ask that? My branches?”. “Oh you talk! That’s lovely. Now tell me, are you weak and dying Mr. Big Brown Tree?“ asked Mishti with utmost sympathy and she instantly started worrying about the tree. “Oh poor you, you look so sad little girl. I am alright. I am smiling, can’t you see? Come play with me” said Mr. Big Brown Tree. “NO!” yelled Mishti and said “You are sick and I am going to help you”. “Aha! I know what to do. I have always seen Ma water her tiny plants and she always tells me that water keep the plants alive. May be you need some water. Let me fetch a pail of water like Jack” smiled Mishti and she ran to her home to fetch some water.

“Mishti! Why are you panting? Is everything alright? Did anyone scare you? Oh my child,” said her mother Mrs. Vani. Mrs. Vani was appalled. Before Mishti could tell anything Vani’s imagination ran wild and brought tears in her eyes. “No Ma, I am fine. That tree, Mr. Big Brown Tree without fruits and hanging branches needs water. You know, he is dying. But Mr. Big Brown Tree refuses to accept it. I want to save him”, said Mishti. “Which tree? Mr. Big Brown? Hanging branches? Where did you go Mishti? I told you not to go too far,” sighed Mrs. Vani. “Maa! I didn’t go too far. Ms. Mary taught me about directions - left and right. I only wanted to try,” paused Mishti to check which hand should she show and said “left side of our home. You should come with me. You know how to save lives!” jumped Mishti.

Mrs. Vani and Mishti strolled to see the huge tree with a pail of water. On their way Mishti told her Ma so many stories about school, her friends, animals, fairies and dragons. Mrs. Vani experienced all kinds of emotions. She loved listening to Mishti. Mrs. Vani was drifting into her wonderland

Little Miss Mishti
Knows how to talk
Tell stories itsy-bitsy
Every time we walk

Little Miss Mishti
Makes me smile
With giggles itsy-bitsy
We walk for a mile

“Ma! Look, look...See, I told you he is dying,” shouted Mishti. Mrs. Vani looked at the tree and was surprised that she never spotted this tree till now. “That’s a lovely tree. Isn’t it Mishti? He is more green than brown” smiled Mrs. Vani. “Stop wasting time Ma. Let’s go water the tree” screamed Mishti and hurriedly ran towards the trunk of the tree. Mrs. Vani was admiring the warmth of Mishti and the breeze beneath the tree. “Don’t worry Mishti. The tree will not die. Those are not branches. They are the tree’s roots. That’s how it’s supposed to be. It’s a Banyan tree and...” Mishti interrupted before her mother could finish and said “Ok. It may be the Banyan tree but I know he is dying. I will not cry Ma. You don’t have to make stories. I know that roots are always underground. Ms. Mary told me a week ago. Please save him”. Mrs. Vani tried her best to convince Mishti but she wouldn’t listen. While both started arguing the magic happened.

It rained!

Mishti was happy. Mrs. Vani said “why don’t you now shake hands with your Mr. Big Brown Tree and enjoy the rain?” Mrs. Vani stood there, surprised, watching Mishti talk something to the tree and swing on the roots. “There was no sign of rain before. Well, may be Mr. Big Brown Tree is after all the Wish Tree. I remember Ma telling me about the Kalpavriksha – a wish fulfilling tree” wondered Mrs. Vani.

And with enlightened joy Mishti shouted, “I remember now, Banyan is the National Tree of India!! And now I know how you look. Mr. Big Brown Tree, you are the National Tree. Isn’t that amazing?”

Mr. Big Brown Tree was smiling and Mishty questioned “But where are your fruits?”

Mr. Smut

Image: Bharath Kumar (bharathkumar27@gmail.com)

The cockroach crept into the basin hole. The slush in the tube made the cockroach’s ride home a smooth slide. “Ah! What a ride back home, the only part in my life that I enjoy” thought the cockroach. Mr. Smut was very proud of his home. His home was as neat as a new pin. Well, he liked being in filth the whole day but loved spending his night in a fresh corner. His leftover dinner was done and it was time for a mighty slumber. His legs were tired of running. He had to run every day to save his life. “Why do the giant brothers and sisters hate me so much? I don’t hurt them. I try my best to stay away from them. It is the filth that attracts me so much. Why don’t they clear the filth rather than trying to kill me? Am I so evil? May be I am ugly. But I clean myself everyday and try my best to look good. What more can I do?” wondered Mr. Smut. These haunting thoughts always bothered him and he would end up staying up late at nights. It hurt him so much that night and he decided to travel with Mr. Smith, his giant brother, with whom he shared his home. He thought “May be living their life a day will make me a better friendly cockroach”. Mr. Smut slept well and the next day he found his way to the cosy coat pocket of Mr. Smith.

It was a typical day for Mr. Smith. The alarm blew off at 7:00am. He lifted his grogginess with great effort and crawled to his bathroom. Mr. Smut was as fresh as a daisy and was peeping from Mr. Smith’s coat pocket. He was all excited about his day off. He wondered why Mr. Smith looked so tired and dull. He waited and wondered again looking at Mr. Smith. “How did he manage to look so handsome? He just went into that room and he looks like a changed man now! His hair looks so fine and his body smells so nice that I cannot go near him. No wonder he hates me. But wait, I am clean too!” thought Mr. Smut with utmost shock. He kept staring at the way Mr. Smith was getting ready. He found many things in common. He felt that he was as clean as Mr. Smith. He felt that both of them had food very fast. He felt both of them were unsure about how they looked as he witnessed the long-time affair between Mr. Smith and the Mirror. In a jiffy Mr. Smut found himself enjoying a smooth slide. Just that this time he was in a car and Mr. Smith was racing against many other cars. Seldom did he understand that Mr. Smith was racing against time as he was getting late to his appraisal meeting. “Damn!” yelled Mr. Smith, “I am late, AGAIN!”. He was sweating profusely and he was tired already. Mr. Smut felt bad for him and thought “Do we have that room here? He can just go in and come out fresh!”

Mr. Grunt was twiddling with his mobile phone and losing his patience looking at the time. Mr. Smith rushed into the meeting room. “Good morning Mr. Grunt, sorry I got st...” “Oh please!” grumbled Mr. Grunt and continued “You knew it was your appraisal meeting today and of all days you think of giving me excuses today? Just sit down”. Mr. Smut did not understand the situation but did realise that it was not good and continued peeping. He saw an unfinished piece of cheese burger next to Mr. Grunt and was too tempted to jump out but didn't want to take a big risk of getting killed easily. It tempted him even more when he saw the burger thrown in the trash. “Let me just peep” sighed Mr. Smut. The meeting went on for hours. Mr. Smut heard pleads, silence, shouts, blah and more blah. After the meeting Mr. Smith was silent throughout the day. Finally, Mr. Smut found himself enjoying a smooth slide again. This time with a voice that put him to sleep. The radio was playing old melodies which silenced the noise of the bustle.

“Why do the bosses hate me so much? I don’t hurt them. I try my best to stay away from them. I just want to earn some money and worth. Why don’t they clear the prejudices rather than trying to kill me? Am I so evil? May be I am ugly. But I clean myself everyday and try my best to look good. What more can I do?” shouted Mr. Smith. Disappointed, he went to the basin to clean his hands and reached his coat’s pocket to take his handkerchief out. “Yikes! What the heck” gasped Mr. Smith and Mr. Smut fell into the basin. Before Mr. Smith could smash him he found his way through the basin hole. “Wish I could live a cockroach’s life, I wouldn't have to run and fret so much” shouted Mr. Smith. “My life is so similar to yours. Both of us live in filth and are constantly afraid of being killed” snapped Mr. Smut and slid to his home.

Both of them got away from each other and chanted “Home Sweet Home”

Questions to Self!

What job should one do? If we are doing a work dictated by the terms laid by the society then probably we are just wasting time by making money. "What job I do shows how capable I am, makes me feel good", said Mr. Wise. "Who says your are incapable otherwise?", questioned Ms. Ignorant. What defines a standard of living? If we shape our lives based on how others live then probably we are just wasting life by trying to be happy. "My family should live a life which can offer the maximum luxury and joy. I am not bothered about what the world does!", said Mr. Wise. "Who defines what luxury is? What connects luxury with joy? I am not asking if the icing is required, I am just curious to know if the cake is needed." questioned Ms.Ignorant.  

Well, everything is interdependent they say. How true, what is freedom then? So many questions to be answered and so many perspectives to be seen. We cramp our thoughts by yearning to be accepted and recognized by others. Those cramped thoughts gets crippled because of fear - fear of our intelligence being tested, fear of showing our ignorance, fear of being hated, fear of being loved, fear of being afraid. With those cramped and crippled thoughts we walk. We walk without realizing that we have become a movie which majority of people would love to see. Isn't that a good thing? Well, depends on who we are trying to please. Isn't it a cowardly act to find happiness only by pleasing others? They say it's a selfless act, seldom do I understand. 

The house was empty but the thoughts were not. A struggle to disconnect oneself from all the experiences and emotions caused by others. A struggle to cling on to that single thought that is pristine. One will find clinging on to nothingness. Nothingness that explains everything and can make a self experience freedom. Nothingness that will prove that seldom does a person has to please anyone, even the self. Nothingness that will end the fight of acceptance and recognition. For, a self will understand that no other person can actually accept or recognize anybody else, even oneself. One will witness the simplest truth that an embellished body destroys the beauty of a naked body.