Since my teenage I have seen friends come to me with one
common problem – relationship issues. Both men and women somehow have the knack
of finding different types of problems – some of them may baffle you – when it
comes to relationships. As a responsible friend I would listen to them. After
listening to them I would start talking and how many times have I heard these
statements – “You are not in love, you won’t understand”, “You don’t have a
history, you won’t understand”, and “You are not married, you won’t
understand”. Now that I have a history, I am in love and happily married, they
would say “You don’t have a kid, you won’t understand”. I am not going to have a baby but I am going
to talk about the general scenarios where women go wrong.
We need space, including theirs
This lady friend of mine was furious and said, “I just asked
him if the new dress that I bought looks nice and he frowned. You know why?
Because he was watching his stupid TV series!”. Ahem, aren’t we being a bit
selfish and a lot ridiculous? Just like how we don’t like being disturbed while
reading a book, watching an all-time fav movie, dressing up for that ladies
night etc. men don’t like getting disturbed when they are enjoying their time –
that time can even be in the loo while they are fidgeting with their phones (no
pun intended). We will get attention, but not all the time!
We don’t talk, we scream
Couples will have arguments. End of the day we are human
beings and every human being will have their own opinions. The minute we know
we are losing the argument we start screaming. Slowly the screaming turns into
tears and we make men look like the bad-est ass in this galaxy. It’s okay to
lose an argument. We can’t win all the time and we can’t be right all the time!
We don’t like giving answer, but love questioning
This one is classic. So many times I have heard this
statement blow up hundreds of cylinders in a relationship “How dare he asks me
why I was late, I asked him why was he late last Friday and he doesn’t answer.
Instead says the answer is same as what he gave on the Friday before that!”.
Relationships can survive only on trust. Even in the strongest and closest of
relationships there are things a person would not want to share with a partner.
Not because they are cheating just because it’s not really important. If you
are not ready to give answers, stop asking them questions!
We do all the work, don’t we?
He doesn’t cook, he doesn’t clean, he doesn’t care! We don’t
clean the car, we don’t fix our gadgets, we don’t step out in hot sun, we don’t
put up with our mood swings! Responsibilities must be balanced. I am not saying
all relationships are perfect but many fail because we give too much importance
to just ourselves. We are so busy doing our work that we stop noticing what our
partner does for us.
How can he not be thinking anything?
Trust me, men are blessed when it comes to this. They can
just go blank and stay in that zombie state for a very long time. Just that
most of the times we disturb them. “What are you thinking honey?”, “How can you
not be thinking about anything?”, “Is something bothering you?”, “Are you
HIDING something from me?”, “WHATVER, if you don’t want to share let it be”,
“Please let me na?”. A humble request, please give men a break – PLEASE!
We are independent but they must be available at our beck and call
We whine about losing our freedom. We suffocate because he
wants to be around all the time. At the same time, you would get upset when he
is late to pick you up – nope, he didn’t volunteer, we called him. Unknowingly
we become needy more than we want to be free. Men do not understand signals and
“subtle hints”. If they see that we need them they will tune their brains to be
around us to help us out. If we want to be free we have to show that we are
independent. Let’s stop messing with their brains.
Finally, they have friends too!
We love hanging out with our friends and drag our partners
without even checking if they want to be a part of it. Men have friends too but
many a times don’t like hanging out with them with their partners around. It’s
simple, being in relationship doesn’t mean that we do EVERYTHING together. They
love talking shit with their friends and prefer keeping us away from shit. Be
happy about it!
There are creepy men. There are creepy women too. I still
believe that the world is primarily filled with good people and all that we
need is more of love to survive peacefully. Love is beautiful. Set each other
free. Soon we will experience that moment - two different minds and souls
working together so well, living together so well, and making the journey of
life so bloody meaningful. Let’s not mix up feminism and selfishness. Equality
is important and when equality is attained respect just falls in place.
And yeah, men will turn into bastards in between! Next topic
will revolve around that ;-)
